Tap Water

Why do you do the things you do?

Why? 

Ask yourself, truly. 

Why is it so important to have sugar right now? Why are you angry? Why are you punishing yourself for an honest mistake? Why are you holding onto this?

What does it remind you of? Where has this come up for you before?

Oh. 

There-

...that's something to remember. All of it. How did it make you feel? How did they feel? Why did you remember it now? Is this the same? Or is this just reminiscent of that feeling? Can you let go of that pain? Can you reach down and realize it isn't meant to hold onto anymore? 

You might not get it yet. You may have to go deeper. It will keep coming up and you need to keep going deeper. Until you get to it. Until you find the seed that started it. It may have lots of growth. It may have become a tree that lives inside of you and takes up all of your inner soul. It may have sprouted so many roots, you can't even tell where it started. Keep digging. Don't stop until you find it. 

That thing that is buried inside, deep, deep down. That is the thing to let go of. The rest is just surface stuff. 

Don't react to the surface stuff. Find the truth to your reaction. It is inside of you and has very little to do with this situation. 

People don't want to hear it. They don't want to know the truth. I tell them or they see it in me, I'll be your mirror, to my demise. I must grow to be a softer mirror. A softer teller of truth. Just as other's seek to be more open to hear it. To see the mirror reflecting the truth. As I see in others, I see inside myself. 

As above, so below, as within, so without.

Truth flows like a raging river, pushing boundaries and letting itself mold until you change. You can resist it or you can let it shape you into what you were meant to be.

To seek the truth inside changes the outside. Nothing is important on the outside until the inside is aligned in truth. 

I met a young man last night who struggled to find the words, but I understood. He had no control, but he sought to be in control of himself. He finds himself in situations where he is turned villain because he takes on other's truths for himself, reflects them back. Then he is punished for what they see. They can treat others but cannot be treated. So, he seeks power. But, this power is in vein. He doesn't truly want it. He just wants to not feel bad about helping people find their inner truths. I understand. It may take him a long time to understand that just because you hold the mirror, doesn't make you them. It doesn't make their feelings yours. It makes the feelings known to them. So, reflect them. Bow, and take leave. They will understand eventually. It is not your journey to take their reflections for them. They need those to survive. To thrive into someone else. Someone they haven't become yet. Allow them to seek their own truth. Because, your inner truth is that you have a gift, friend. I know, because I have it, too. The gift to understand people very deeply, without them saying so. Without them wanting you to know. You have a gift to find someone's inner intimacy, as do I. It is raw. It is beautiful. It is fantastic. It can be very dangerous. Take your time. Understand their inner truth. Let your inner pains go. Things will become more clear. Open waters.