The glasses clinked, dark amber and clear, the liquid sloshing to their lips. The smoky bar wasn't busy though there was a low murmur of chatter around them from other patrons. They spent the evening bar hopping while Kiera picked wayward souls from the crowd. She would ask them questions and soon they joined tables, to Bonnie's dismay. She adored how Kiera could make friends anywhere, anytime but on this evening, she just needed to be in a quiet space. In time, they would abandon their new best friends in search of another location.
"You know what I love about us?" Kiera asked Bonnie.
"What?" Bonnie said after her gulp.
"You and I never change. We are the same fucking people, you know? We will never fucking change." Kiera laughed with stars in her eyes, feeling the effects of her strong drink. Bonnie furrowed her brow. She liked to think they both had changed, for the better. What part of her didn't change that Kiera was referring to? She sat silently pondering while Kiera kept talking, jumping from subject to subject quickly. The day was taxing on Bonnie and she just needed some sleep. She doodled in her journal writing "so many sleeps needed" above a drawing of herself tucked into bed with several potted plants nearby. Kiera was on her phone, calling an ex-boyfriend, laughing and talking, her playful tone noted. Bonnie excused herself to the restroom reading graffiti on the walls. One in particular caught her eye.
"Suddenly everything has changed." Bonnie read it aloud to herself. She truly felt the words resonate inside of her chest. Her mind jumped to Conor and their conversation earlier in the day. Bonnie faced a lot of things in a short period of time and hadn't taken the time to process her feelings yet. Conor had seen what she needed and suggested she take some time to be with her friend. She knew she would be engulfed in her friend's adventures only minutes later but, lingered in the peaceful mood he put her in at all times. This action shielded her from depression and allowed her to feel known. She considered reaching out to him, looking at her cell phone.
When she returned to the table, Kiera was off the phone and had another round for them.
"Do you think I'm a shitty person?" Kiera was going deeper and deeper within. She needed someone to lift her up however, Bonnie was feeling quite exhausted.
"No, of course not." Bonnie answered her quickly and truthfully.
"Well, I am." Kiera began to let loose a stream of self-deprecation that left Bonnie feeling sad for her friend. Her thoughts had come to a dangerous place lately but, with the addition of an old friend, she was more in reflection mode than anything. Bonnie saw her facade and only needed to wait it out until Kiera felt comfortable letting it out. A beautiful person inside and out, Bonnie saw her for what she really was however, Kiera couldn't see that about herself. Bonnie considered that her issues may stem from a place of self worth. Kiera's poor soul was wounded and only pointing out the flaws.
Kiera continued to talk and Bonnie listened until they had closed out the bar. Kiera got a ride from a friend and Bonnie walked home. She put her parka hood over her hat, blocking the icy wind from slicing her skin. Nighttime was interesting for her. It was usually quite peaceful in the summertime. In the winter, it was calming but, she didn't like to shiver. She thought about her day, all of the conversations, the things she wished she would have done differently, and the things left unsaid. There were words on her lips that she ached to let loose, afraid of what it could mean. Her self reflection, ever growing and changing for the better.
"You know what I love about us?" Kiera asked Bonnie.
"What?" Bonnie said after her gulp.
"You and I never change. We are the same fucking people, you know? We will never fucking change." Kiera laughed with stars in her eyes, feeling the effects of her strong drink. Bonnie furrowed her brow. She liked to think they both had changed, for the better. What part of her didn't change that Kiera was referring to? She sat silently pondering while Kiera kept talking, jumping from subject to subject quickly. The day was taxing on Bonnie and she just needed some sleep. She doodled in her journal writing "so many sleeps needed" above a drawing of herself tucked into bed with several potted plants nearby. Kiera was on her phone, calling an ex-boyfriend, laughing and talking, her playful tone noted. Bonnie excused herself to the restroom reading graffiti on the walls. One in particular caught her eye.
"Suddenly everything has changed." Bonnie read it aloud to herself. She truly felt the words resonate inside of her chest. Her mind jumped to Conor and their conversation earlier in the day. Bonnie faced a lot of things in a short period of time and hadn't taken the time to process her feelings yet. Conor had seen what she needed and suggested she take some time to be with her friend. She knew she would be engulfed in her friend's adventures only minutes later but, lingered in the peaceful mood he put her in at all times. This action shielded her from depression and allowed her to feel known. She considered reaching out to him, looking at her cell phone.
When she returned to the table, Kiera was off the phone and had another round for them.
"Do you think I'm a shitty person?" Kiera was going deeper and deeper within. She needed someone to lift her up however, Bonnie was feeling quite exhausted.
"No, of course not." Bonnie answered her quickly and truthfully.
"Well, I am." Kiera began to let loose a stream of self-deprecation that left Bonnie feeling sad for her friend. Her thoughts had come to a dangerous place lately but, with the addition of an old friend, she was more in reflection mode than anything. Bonnie saw her facade and only needed to wait it out until Kiera felt comfortable letting it out. A beautiful person inside and out, Bonnie saw her for what she really was however, Kiera couldn't see that about herself. Bonnie considered that her issues may stem from a place of self worth. Kiera's poor soul was wounded and only pointing out the flaws.
Kiera continued to talk and Bonnie listened until they had closed out the bar. Kiera got a ride from a friend and Bonnie walked home. She put her parka hood over her hat, blocking the icy wind from slicing her skin. Nighttime was interesting for her. It was usually quite peaceful in the summertime. In the winter, it was calming but, she didn't like to shiver. She thought about her day, all of the conversations, the things she wished she would have done differently, and the things left unsaid. There were words on her lips that she ached to let loose, afraid of what it could mean. Her self reflection, ever growing and changing for the better.
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