Red. There was a red shirt. A thermal, maybe. Black shoes, jeans, and a red shirt. The feeling of calmness washed over me and the anxiety I had previously, disappeared. I felt as though my heart stopped beating as two separate pieces and instead- as one whole organ again. I don't know what that means for me. Or whomever he is, I guess. I think I'm on the right path. It's so hard to tell sometimes. When I lose faith in it, thats when I spiral. That's when I break down and feel as though I'm being ripped from something I desperately need. It's when I feel so very tired, no matter how hard I sleep. I'm meant for something and it's closer than it's ever been before. I remembered there was a red Jeep when I passed one earlier today. It came back to me suddenly, as if that had some sort of significance. I have no idea. Maybe it just meant that I was supposed to be driving where I was and on my way to my destination. I can't be too sure. Meaning in obscurity is a unique puzzle. Perhaps, one that isn't meant to be solved quite yet. I'm not sure of anything anymore. My mom said to me, "you haven't met him yet." I disagree. I think I already did. I can't tell you who he is but, I know that I already did. I knew it for a long time. I recall thinking it several times, just shushing it out of my mind over the last decade. I read somewhere that you meet your soulmate before you're 21. I am pretty sure it was a scientific statistic but, I can't be sure at the moment. I also remember reading about my personality type and being in denial that I was in the wrong relationship. I am approaching life with an open heart and a skeptical mind. It's a contradictory thing. I just sort of wing it daily. If I overthink it, that's when things make no sense. That's when I'm down. That's when I break down. I can't explain why I saw him wearing red. Twice. I don't know what that means. I'm meant for something big and I'm not there yet. Meanwhile, I'm just going to keep following my open heart. It has gotten me this far. I don't doubt it will get me to where I need to go. I hope it turns out how I want it to. I'm sure it'll more likely be what I need it to. Either way, I am hoping for the best.
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