I couldn't tap back into my empathy because I had shut it off. I felt misunderstood and I should have begun looking then. I had a feeling when you said it wasn't about me, that it was. I don't do well with indirect communication. I wasn't able to figure out what I needed to do because I was too busy focusing on whether or not you were talking about me. It felt like it was about me but you said it wasn't. Can you see how that is confusing? My mind did loops daily and it was horrible. It felt like all the words you said became empty. I couldn't trust anything you said.
I felt that the lines had been crossed over personal boundaries on several occasions. I do feel like maybe you understood that I was putting my heart in the right place but it was perhaps for the wrong reasons.
I think I really should have a good therapist's information on hand. I feel like several people take on that burden, including myself. It takes a certain personality to want to help people, the moms and nurses of the world, and it takes a lot to feel like you are turning your back on people you love but the best answer sometimes is to pass them helpful information so they can continue their journey, privately. It's not turning your back on someone to help them help themselves.
I wish you luck in dealing with the things set before you. I foresee some more bumps in the road. Or, you will be fine. Either way, good luck.
I'm sorry this didn't work out.
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