I ask and I receive. I need to be more specific. I want something more. I have all the parts of a whole man. I need to feel deep connection in conversation. I need to be able to be so lost in texting that I forget to eat or drink water, that I lie awake and feel the resonating feeling slip out and hang above me like a cloud. A thick, lovely cloud that I can't see or touch. I need to start talking about something obscure and get an answer in return. The world is filled with interesting facts. Pick something and tell me about it. Get me involved in the conversation. It's not hard to ask how I feel or let me speak. I like to get existential and hypothetical. It makes a spark in my eye light up. I need to feel warmth all around me. I need to feel arms around me and a hand in mine. Hands in both of mine at the same time. I need to feel the weight of you, even if it's just on one leg or on my back. I need sexual connection. I need to feel love there too. I need desire and I need time. I need enough time to finish a story. You can't just end a game in the first inning. Get me back. Don't give up before the story ends. I need attention and love and water and good vibrant food and junk food, too. I need flowers and candy and hugs and kisses wherever you want to lay them. I need genuine interest in my daily life. I'll tell it like a book and I want you to be interested in reading about it. I need to feel like I have a voice and I'm important to you. Because, I'll always listen to your story. I'll be interested in your history. I'll be interested in the knowledge you have. I'll be interested in hearing what you have to say. I need to be treated well and kind. I need positivity and guidance. I need to feel needed also. I know how I can be. How can you be? Don't come at me with an intention to talk about books and try to turn it into sex. Don't ask me out to dinner and then try to turn it into sex. Don't tell me you want zero commitment and then ask me for sex. I need a man. A man that isn't afraid to open up and be real. I'm a hypocrite because I can barely stand up for myself at the moment, and maybe that's why I'm not getting what I know I need and deserve. I get bits. I get bits from different men and if I could just combine them all then I would have quite an angel, indeed. Every other man thinks they know best and you fucking don't. I can assure you. You don't know what I want or need. You haven't asked. And there's about five hundred other things I want that I'll never ask for because I know you can't give it to me. So I learn to give it to myself.
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