Still D.R.E.

I put on a daily mix. Daily Mix #6. I can't tell while I'm driving what is on the playlist, but there must have been an update because when I tapped the screen, a list of songs came up. XTC's "Towers of London" at the top of the list was enough. I saw The Beatles, The Kinks, Cream, in between watching the road and glancing at the list. I started playing Towers of London. I was surprised when the next song on the playlist was Mac Miller's "Cinderella," I skipped it. "Pursuit of Happiness" by Kid Cudi. I let the playlist go. It was all rap. I have purposely avoided it for weeks. It reminds me of a time I am trying to forget. Someone I would rather pretend doesn't exist. I unfriended a few people that I no longer want to associate with. I don't do it often. It's extremely rare. But, I suppose I was thinking about Xmas, my birthday, even Valentine's Day, and I just hit the search bar and unfriended. I had a friend tell me that their messages were blocked from me. It's like a fun game the universe likes to play with me. If you want to avoid, I will make things jump out at you. They are weird and I'm a bit offended, really. But, it is how it is. Okay. Fine. Have me drive behind certain cars. Vanity plates and repeating numbers, every author in the world has the same name as him. Fine. I've never known a time when things weren't weird for me like that. I swear I scramble certain wavelengths. I would walk down the street and lights would flicker and go out around me, just to flicker back on as I passed. I stopped paying attention because it freaked me out. There's a few lights in my kitchen that do it as well. I'm sure it's all just a coincidence. I think about you and I see things. I push you out of my mind and I see things. I do other things to forget you exist and I see things. I just want to be left alone. I just want to go back to when I didn't know you. Before I knew that these things existed. It's not possible. I'm stuck here. Just waiting. Trying to ignore it. Trying to move on. Trying to ignore the connection. I'll live here forever. Missing your stupid dick.