There's a special spot that is swollen with lust that I often find myself lingering in. The spot where I feel a chewing inside, soft nibbles that want to pulsate with desire. This feeling. I keep getting caught in the feeling. I waste my time in the morning and evening, caught in a feeling.The conflicted urge. My morals and standards wouldn't allow me to just find someone. Not a stranger. It has to be more real than that. I need to feel safe. I need to be loved, cared for. I need to love and care. I can't allow myself to pursue something that I know isn't going to work, just for the sake of the feeling. I wait. I just try to let it go. I occupy my brain with anything that will hold that feeling at bay. When I am able, I go there. I am in that feeling. The liberation. The energy builds and I have no release for that kind of treat. I meet people and my veins flow with that spirit. I want it to be what it cannot. So on I go.
I find I need to move my feet, and I do. I find a new feeling. New places, new spots that ache with peace. I want to let the tears fall from my eyes. The outer corners of my eyes wet with sanctuary. This is where I can go to forget about everything else. The times that aren't now, they are not with me. Only this moment. Only this place. This feeling lives here and I can remember it well. It echos back farther and farther. The depth of solitude humming with ancient desire. The fragility of these moments aren't seen. They are felt. The air is crisp and the colors are vibrant. Cleanse me again so that I can continue on. Help me to not be lost. The old that is strong does not wither. I gather the strength to continue on. To keep moving. It's easier now. It feels like nothing to find the motivation. It feels like everything to allow the wind to take me. To be surrounded by all the unknown and let it gently push me along.
I get caught in a feeling. Destiny isn't someplace we go. Destiny is where we are. I allow my world to guide me and I go. I seek that places, the people, the moments that I am destined to be in. When we resist, this is when we are losing opportunities. When we don't explain ourselves to one another, when we aren't honest to ourselves or others... this is where we lose our destiny. But, for you to pursue your next lesson, your next dream, your next hope of moving forward, you must accept that right now is your destiny. You are here. This is where you should be. Something has drawn you to read this, right now. Something has you continuing to go, to see where this goes. To read and wonder why these words are like velvet to your soul. This isn't the only part of the lesson. Destiny means you must do. You cannot be happy in your determined fate if you are not doing all you can to reach it. I suppose it all means something different to everyone. To each their own, in destiny or otherwise.
Catch yourself in the feeling so that you can find your destiny. What would it be for you? I cannot honestly say. I would help you find it, if you're willing to dig deep with me. What is it that keeps your mind up at night, going over the moments that have you caught up. The things you wish to change. The things you need to forgive in others. In yourself, mostly. Forgive yourself so you can move past this feeling. So you can see the warm edge of your destiny. So that your destiny is no longer a chaotic energy with no where to go but explode. So you can be determined, go henceforth, and make yourself. It isn't what we say or think that defines us, but what we do.
Comments
Post a Comment