Earth Angel

 Earth angel. Earth angel. The one I adore. Love you forever. and ever more. I'm just a fool. A fool in love with... you...  ...I'm just a fool... a fool in love with... you...

Don't. Don't. You are actually fucking disgusting. Don't sent me fucking messages. We are NOT friends. Here's what I never got to say:

You CHEATED. You fucking CHEATED. I didn't even fall in love with you. I remember... I remember sitting in the ELISA lab learning about Her2 looking at my new (to me) apple watch, telling my CRUSH that I got a text from you. I was like, "Hey, should I give this joker another chance? He stood me up... should I set up another date with him?" and one of the hottest dudes I've ever met said, *awkwardly* "I.. uh... I don't think... I should... uh... answer that for you..." Which honestly, made me smile. I was excited about the CHASE  I wanted him to be a little intrigued or jealous. I thought maybe I could get a little dick out of the deal, thinking more like a typical man than a typical woman. But, I gave you another chance. I shouldn't have. I should have just flirted more with that hot scientist- but I didn't. EITHER WAY IT DOESN'T MATTER. Cos I kept it going. I made you a breakfast sandwich and we met in the park and I felt like... I wanted this to be different. I wanted the same setting, but with another man. The hot scientist, FOR SURE, or someone equivalent. I had you, instead. You wanted to watch old horror films. You wanted to snuggle on the couch and it reminded me of the dude that I THOUGHT was interesting, but was just TALL. Your personality was very similar. Your sexual appeal was similar. But, you wanted to fix stuff. You helped me around the house. I felt like.. I dunno. I felt like, you were around, even if you weren't, really. You only were able to hang out a day or two a week. It felt like you kept trying to find another day- but it just didn't work out. I saw through you. I guess I didn't care. That hot scientist was moving. He encouraged me to apply other places, too. He seemed like he wanted me to come along. I dunno. I kept my distance. I just. Kept my distance. I kept my heart in a box. For him. And I guess it was the right move. Because, meanwhile, you were cheating on me. You were fucking CHEATING on me. What the fuck did you get out of seeing me ONCE a week. A cuddle, some tv (maybe some silly or horror shit) and then a quick fuck. Some titties to suck and a pussy to fuck and then... what? You were also hitting up at least ONE other bitch. UGH! You have to know how much that KILLED me!? I didn't even LOVE you! I was agonizing over the fact that you CLEARLY liked me more than I liked you. That you seemed to want more... and I just... Wanted that HOT ASS SCIENTIST. I Really just was passing my time. Probably fucked up any chance I had at a real relationship- and meanwhile.... you were... fucking around with someone else????? 

Ok. 

So. 

I let it go. I let YOU go. I needed the cuddles and the sex and the handyman shit. I really did. But, it was hurting me to think you liked me more than I liked you. So I ENDED it.

Then.

Then.

MOTHER FUCKING THEN

I find out.... you were CHEATING on... ME.

You.

were

cheating.

on.

me. 

ME

I didn't even want you!

AND YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME!!!!!!

Fuck that SHIT.

So. I stood up. I stood up for the other woman. I was the "other woman" and I stood up for the "WOMAN." I was honest. I had texts to prove it. She told me...... he said you made up the texts.

*eyes closed* Ma'am. I literally. DO NOT WANT HIM. What the hell do I have in the prerogative department to lie??? Eventually, it seemed like I got through and I really, truly, hope that he is not messing with her brain anymore. I dated dudes like that in my early twenties. (Fuck EN.) BUT it doesn't matter. Whether she listened to me or believed me or not- dude sucks monkey dicks. POINT IS... this was.. I dunno...? January? February? 

So he messages me in... April? And APOLOGIZES. He has NOTHING to say to me when this is all going down. Ignored my screen shots of his starting of a relationship overlapping us FUCKING and then his texts from November to January talking about how sweet my pussy is... I know... but, I don't want YOU to be licking it anymore, you are clearly trash. THANKS BYE.

So. I ignored him.

Now, why the HELL is he sending ANOTHER message to me....? It's been about 6 months since I called him out on his fucking bullshit.... and about 8 months since I broke it off.... So... WTF!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I just... 

I want to know. 

Dear universe....

Do I have a magic pussy?

If so... please send a prince dick cos these clowns are fucking TRASH COMPACTORS and I dunno why you keep sending them my way. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK